I believe in GOOD-BYE

Don't know how to start this one. I can say I'm too dramatic for blogging about my non-biological grandpa. (i just consider him as one. he has been a part of my everyday since I was in second year high school)

One that defines and has been the clearest memories I had with him is the 5second-just-staring-with-him-while-lolo-is-having-fun-with-his-bestfriend-coffee moment.

So taking into another account, I was too depressed about my Accounting subjects. T'was like I'm really doomed, I'm gibberish, I need to make myself being prisoned at the house, like this like that.

A few days ago, I had planned to go malling. (for this is my anti-depressant). Expected that I am going to see Lolo from their house, HE WAS NOT THERE. Instead, I saw a strange stand with a name. I was really afraid and guilt-ridden. I never had the chance to confirm the thing that bothers me. I kept on being serene.

Now. SATURDAY. I was really premeditated. I totally had forgotten my concern on Lolo. Reaching out the cemetery, (on ride with a tricycle) I saw a picture of him on the back of the car. I saw a casket. I saw the veracity. He's gone. Yes. HE'S GONE. :( It was never an easy target for me. I'm suffering from guilt, indeed. I felt sorry and I had nothing to do with it. I can't turn back time.

I believe in good bye because I BELIEVE IN GOD. At first, I can't bear the thought of my emotion bottling up and just erupting. There is the word ACCEPTANCE. We cannot denunciate anyone especially God. He's just lending this life we have.

Let it go. Let it be. Let God.

P.S. I will miss the staring moments Lolo. Even though I didnt have the chance to know your name, I'll just call you an angel from God. Be on peace. :)